expectations

There are so many things that I heard and read about the first weeks of being a parent and I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. Some of those things have been totally true... how time absolutely flies and I could spend hours just staring at that sweet little face. And how the first time that little person looks into your eyes and smiles a gummy grin any challenging part of pregnancy or labor seems entirely obsolete. But there are other things that I totally did NOT expect. These are a few:


:: I thought that I would love him the instant he was born and feel like I already knew him... then slowly come down off the cloud as he starting crying and pooping and I started loosing sleep. I did love him the second he was born, but more in the way you love any little innocent, helpless thing that needs you. It was from that point that I actually just started getting to know him... then being surprised by how much I actually liked him... then really enjoying hanging out with him! And not just because he needs me, but because I particularly like his little personality and think he's a lot of fun. My love for him only barely began the day he was born, but grows exponentially each day as I find brand new reasons to like him even more. Shocked my socks off.

:: My body has continued to surprise me in totally good ways! I was prepared to give myself a lot of grace and had been trying to keep in mind that it took ten months for my body to evolve into what it had become and it would take more than an hour or two for things to go back to normal... if they ever did! I thought I would still feel (and look) 5 months pregnant for a good while and was trying to be okay with that, but that's not how I feel at all! It's amazing how quickly things go back to... almost like they were before. Like a really good memory foam. Not that you'll catch me in a bikini tomorrow, but this summer isn't totally off the table ;) Thank you, body, for being a genius shape-shifter.

:: My husband. I never saw him as a "kid person" (he had actually never held a baby until ours), therefore I expected it would take him a while to get used to being around a baby. Boy, was I wrong about that one! I can't believe how natural and relaxed and comfortable he is around him... from day one. From minute one, really! He and Eli have such a sweet little bond, and the kid loves him. It melts my heart... the way he talks to him, and cradles his little body, and holds him with those big, gentle hands. There are just no words for how it makes me adore the both of them. He has always been such an incredible husband, but to watch him in this new role of being such an amazing dad, makes me appreciate and respect that guy in a whole new way. I'm not just falling in love with my new baby. I'm falling in love with his dad all over again.

:: I know this one may seem totally outlandish because, even as I've said it so many times in the past few days, I realize as the words are coming out of my mouth how nutty it sounds. But. I can't believe how easy and FUN this is! Like, right up there with a trip to Disney, or the first summer we were married. It's totally blowing my mind. In brutal honesty, I thought a baby would be a lot of work, totally stressful, and kind of boring. 0 for 3. There have certainly been tricky moments, but those feel like a blip on the radar. There and gone, then smooth sailing again. For every foot that is successfully snapped into a onesy, or diaper crisis that is averted I have this urge to high five the husband like like our team just won the world series. I have to say that a lot of the credit for all the fun and lack of stress actually belongs to my mom too - the most wonderful woman in the world. She has this calming presence and has been brilliant at just being there for our little family in the most selfless ways. Like the other night. She came over and stayed the night and let J sleep in the guest room to get some uninterrupted shut-eye. We had so much fun. We stayed up and talked about motherhood and babies and she told me stories I'd never heard about her being a new mom and we ate snacks in bed and talked until we were delirious and laughed so hard it hurt. I'm beyond blessed to have the greatest mom in the world and would be thrilled at the idea of being even half as great of mom to my Eli as she is to me.