need

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a new parent, it’s that advice from others is not hard to come by, and the pieces of advice themselves are as varied as the parents who offer them. I’ve read baby books that swear to hold the secrets of how to create your dream child. Ones to make your kid sleep trough the night and ones that say it's unhealthy and developmentally inappropriate to even expect an infant to sleep all night long. This is my conclusion:

Every baby is different.

Every parent is different.

And the combination of the two creates a totally unique relationship.. that I would suspect changes and evolves as multiple children are introduced to a family.

Only that parent, in that unique relationship can determine what is best for their baby. It’s this parent’s opinion that our western culture is newly obsessed with trying to make independent babies. And that doesn’t work for us. Eli doesn’t understand language. He may be able to to perceive tone, but he can’t understand that I love him trough my words. He understands that only by what I do - more specifically, how I meet his needs.

food

sleep

safety

affection

and I want him to know that I’m looking out for him and making those things readily available… anticipating his needs.

It is not my goal to have Eli sleeping though the night in his own bed. It’s not my goal to have him eat on a predictable schedule. It’s not my goal to make sure he isn’t held too much. It is my goal to do everything in my power to make sure he knows that he is loved and his needs are met. And if for now that means that he snuggles with us in our bed in the mornings and eats whenever he is hungry and rides around in his sling or in my arms the vast majority of the day, I’m great with that. It works for us and our family. It’s what makes us all the happiest (and the most well rested). It’s also why I think he’s such a happy baby!

Just when I think I couldn’t love him any more he falls asleep.

Worn out from all our 4th of July festivities… his first big holiday.

When he’s 16, this will all be over. He won’t be sleeping in our bed, wanting to be carried around or rocked to sleep. This is a small window of time that I have to pour into this little guy and by doing so, let him know that he can relax and trust because his needs are going to be met… to build his sense of security. Even though he’s years away from understanding those things in concept, I think he’s not to little to understand them through experience. I hope that by giving him my full attention now, he won’t feel that he has to fight for it when he gets older.

Disclaimer: I don’t judge. Do what works for you and your babe… you have to have peace in whatever you decide and your needs have to be met too! A baby needs a happy momma. And what this momma needs to be happy is a shower, the great outdoors, and her baby close. 

So if you stop by our place these days you’re likely to find puppy prints on the floor, me with my hair all wild and free, barefooted, watering the garden with one hand and holding my little man close with the other. You won’t find a spotless house, but what what you will find is one happy momma and one happy baby. These days I'm choosing walks over dishes and snuggles over sleep. Indeed, 2013 may very well be known as the year my house fell to muddy floors and a full sink, but Eli won’t remember any of that, and my bet is he’ll be a lot happier for it.