now

I finished my very first ever summer class this morning. It wasn't too bad. I found out that I can get there in 15 minutes flat (compared to at least 30-45 minutes it took me to get to Memphis) and parking is absolutely not going to be an issue in the slightest.

All good news.

Still, while I was driving home I was thinking "boy, I sure can't wait for this to be over!" Then I realized that I think that a lot. I think it about an event, a class, or even an entire season of life. It's not that I don't like now, I just seem to always be looking forward to something "better" and in the meantime, wish now away.

I remember being in middle school thinking how fabulous life would be when I could finally drive and have my own car. Then in high school everything was about graduating and starting college and how much fun I would have meeting people and being free and making all of my own decisions.

There's always something that seems just a little better.

It's not true though. Well... maybe it was a little true in middle school, but sans the perm and braces it really wasn't all that bad. I think what I'm realizing (for about the millionth time) is that now is a really special thing and what I do with it can effects tomorrow and next month and even the next year that I'm wishing was right now.

So: I will make the most of the fact that I'll get to see the sun rise every day for the next month, that I don't have a mortgage to pay and can therefore save (or spend) every penny I earn if I so desire, and that each moment I spend with Jason I am forced to appreciate because I know that each will eventually have to end in a "goodnight."

And though I don't ever ever foresee myself looking back one day and wishing that I were here, I know that there are things about now that I'll never get back. I just have to find those things and learn to appreciate them. I'm finding this part to be far easier said than done.