12.03.2013

juggling

Have you guys seen the movie “I Don’t Know How She Does It”? I watched it a long while back, then again the other day because it had been added to netflix and I was in the mood for something wintery and remembered that snow scene at the end. And because I love SJP. Anyway, there's this analogy throughout the movie about how she’s like a juggler. As if there’s so much on her plate she can’t possibly give all the pieces the attention they deserve so she just spreads herself thin and does the best she can.

To some degree I empathize.

There have been points in my life that felt that way, especially when I was teaching, working 50+ hours a week. I felt like there wasn’t anything unimportant enough to let go so just did my best with a smile on my face and held my breath for Saturday morning to come. Or a long holiday. I was a juggler then too. I think it would be easy to become one again… especially with a baby.
Definitely, with a baby.

Too often I thrived on being busy busy busy. And when someone asked me how I’d been I’d say “busy!” like it was synonymous with productive. But here’s what that movie pointed out so perfectly: This world glorifies busy. Even more so, it glorifies jugglers… and I don’t want to be one of them.

I don’t want to be one of the people who makes all their memories on-the-go. I don’t want to be one who is so busy doing good, church things that I don’t have time to notice subtleties in the seasons changing or have time to get into conversations with my neighbors. I don’t ever want to have to rush home from a walk or a trip to the park because we have something “more important” to do. I want to be that kind of friend you can call up midday for a drop-in playdate and we’re available.

I want life to move slowly enough that I don’t subtly send my precious boy the message that who we are and what we have in this moment isn’t enough. As if our value is determined by our degree of activity.

That’s really where I find the trouble with juggling.

To keep all the pieces in the air - you can’t let them get too close - you have to keep on throwing. And the pieces that we’re talking about are people.

You know those people you could talk with for hours and come away feeling like your soul finally took a deep breath of fresh air? They never rush or interrupt. They don’t give unsolicited advice. They don't check their phone or try to multi-task. It feels like you have 100% of them, right there, in that moment.

I want to be more like that.

I don’t want people I have relationships with feel like they’re pieces to juggled - especially J and E. My tendency all my life has been to make quick, surface friendships that don’t ever get very deep. Honestly, I never really saw much of a problem with that until a few years ago when I realized I had a full calendar and didn’t know--really know--the vast majority of the people in my life. I may have known their schedules and preferences in TV shows, but I didn’t really know them on a heart level.

There’s no glory in juggling. The only people who will ever be impressed by the jugglers are the ones on the outskirts who will never be influenced from such a distance, while the ones closest who desperately need that person to be fully present have to fight for attention at best. A full calendar doesn’t equal a full life, and for me, means just the opposite. So my aim is to be choosey with my obligations, guard those blank calendar days against meaningless “busy” and be fully present for the people in my life like it’s my job… Because I can’t think of one more important.


5 comments:

Unknown said...

Preach it sista! This is such a great lesson. Thanks for sharing!! My mom is the same way. It's humbling and amazing!

Jamie said...

You are such a blessing! I'm coming to accept and even love days at home. I want my life to reflect this more and more all the time.

GingerLand said...

Yes, yes! I have noticed a glorious byproduct of this season in my life where I am graciously being allowed to stay at home -- the blessing to others of not being in a hurry.

I must admit my original intent was perhaps a bit selfish -- I was tired of rushing and never quite doing anything well. Sure, I wanted to be a blessing to my husband, but my eyes were opened the other day to the blessing and testimony to OTHERS that not being in a rush can be.

While standing in line at the grocery, the man in front of me had an item that wouldn't ring up. The usual chaos ensued of getting a fellow cashier to check, run over, run back... Both the customer and the cashier looked at me apologetically, and he said, "I'm so sorry." I was able to honestly reply "I'm in no rush!" They both looked at me like I grew two heads. I had to giggle when I realized that those words, in today's society, are an anomaly.

Sure, there's always balance, but there is a world of difference to me between balancing and juggling.

I'm so thankful, as dear Dr. Rogers used to say, "There are enough hours in the day to do gracefully all that God would have you to do." This blessing is not lost on me.

Whitney Mc said...

Thanks for the encouragement, friends! So happy you enjoyed reading… and Ginger I love your grocery store story and that Mr. Rogers quote! I hadn’t heard that one before... its one to live by and my new favorite.

Patsy said...

Yes!!! You describe your mother perfectly!! She does give 100 per cent attention in her listening. She is a clean, deep breath. I cherish the moments we have shared.